We’re honored to share this guest feature from Rock On Purpose lead contributor Matt Durlin’s son.
Content note: Depression, suicide
My battle with depression and suicidal thoughts began in fourth grade. One day, I was having a hard time and everything came to a boiling point. I went up to my room and tried to suffocate myself with my pillow, and I was entered into a therapy program for about six months.
During this season, I listened to songs like Believer by Imagine Dragons. Music helped me to temporarily escape from my world of depression. These small periods of escape, along with a good counselor really helped me to overcome suicide and depression.
Fast forward a couple years to last June, when I went through one of the most difficult experiences of my life: my family moved from Pennsylvania to Tennessee.
If you have moved, you know it can be hard to leave a place in which you have made so many memories. I lived there for ten years and met many wonderful people, including my best friend, Noah.
Noah introduced me to bands like Twenty One Pilots and Imagine Dragons. After we moved, I remember sitting alone listening to familiar songs like “Feel Invincible” by Skillet and “Goner” by Twenty One Pilots. I would just lay there reading a book trying to escape reality.
A month or two later, I threatened a suicide attempt. My parents helped navigate me through, but I continued to think about taking my life.
During that time, I found comfort in music that reminded me of my friends. “Counting Stars” by One Republic and other songs, along with the reminder that God and people around me love me, helped me to overcome a difficult season.
Almost a year later, I have found ways to overcome depression and have many new friends, but I will never forget any of my other friends or the battles I had to face to stay alive.
Music has played a very important role in my battle with suicide, depression and dark thoughts. Whether it is pop, rock, or rap, music can play a significant role in setting you free.